Since the day I saw two pink lines on my kit, it was all about ‘being pregnant symptoms’, motherhood, mum’s life etc. in fact, every search engine every hashtag was directed towards mom-to-be, but why do we forget dad-to-be? Men aren’t great at expressing their feelings but they do have the same insecurities like new mothers. Will I be a good father? Will I be able to calm my crying baby? Can I do this? Will it change my wife/ relationship with my wife? In real, men cannot bond with their babies when they are still in the womb, unlike mothers. Except for few ultrasound led heartbeats, countable kicks that the fathers experience, is there really a way for them to connect?
I always knew my husband would make a great father but I was curious to see how he would evolve into one. To my surprise, he followed a planned gradual process to bond with our daughter.
Here is what he did :-
- Daddy diaper care
Changing diaper sessions can be a great way for the fathers to bond with their child. This leaves some room for breathe to the new Mum too! I had C-section. This gave my husband an opportunity to have skin-to-skin contact with our child. By the time we came back home, I was overwhelmed to see he had become a pro in baby care and he absolutely loved doing them! He never tried to hand off dirty diapers and was always looking for ways he could help me.
- Night routines
So spoke a great, “what helps mommy and daddy stay happy, helps the baby stay happy!” My child was exclusively on breastfeed, she would wake up every two hours to nurse. So, after I nursed her, my husband would burp her, change her diaper, rocked her to sleep while I got myself some sleep. This took a lot of pressure off us. Besides, helped me recover soon from post partum.
- Daddy feed times
Breastfeeding isn’t a cakewalk. And doing it while you are also recovering from an incision procedure is a battle. At times, new mum’s too need uninterrupted 8 hour sleep. I know, I have been there! So, my husband helped me with the night time feedings. He fed our child expressed milk. This let’s fathers get a taste of how mums feel while nursing.
- Rock-a-bye daddy
Very few men can put a baby to sleep. My husband couldn’t initially but he kept calm and tried harder. Very soon, it became a task to be accomplished in no time. I personally feel this is a great way to bond with a child as they seek comfort hugely.
In any form, from singing lullabies to playing instruments, babies love the sound of music, and even more the sound of their parent’s voice. And why not, they have been hearing this from their time inside the tummy. My husband would sing to our child every night from days inside womb. When he sang to her after birth, she moved her head,in response, as if looking for. She knew it was her daddy! Needless to say babies feel secured but also more connected to you. Music helps develop their linguistic and cognitive skill. So, c’mon bring out your talent. Your baby is not going to judge you!
As a mother, I try to be a supermum and want to get everything done perfectly, myself! Lately I have realised that at times it is ok to falter. I step back and let my husband fit in some roles which has only made me saner, less antsy and I see my husband becoming more responsible each day. But most importantly, the growing beautiful bond between my husband and daughter!
Thanks for joining me. Hope you had a good read!
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Disclaimer : The views and opinions expressed in this blog are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily mirror the views or opinions of any individual.